Some Observations About Uncertainty

Uncertainty is the hardest emotion. I know that is a big thing to claim, but I really believe this is true. As ironic as it is to say, I feel pretty certain about it.  I also know that if you do an internet search for “what is the hardest emotion?” “uncertainty” doesn’t show up. I honestly haven’t seen any research studies saying that people report that uncertainty is the most difficult emotion with which to cope. So why do I feel so strongly that uncertainty is the hardest? Partly because I have spent years talking to and observing people who are struggling emotionally. Uncertainty almost always comes up as a theme. Personal experience tells me that I don’t like it either. We don’t know what to do when we feel uncertain. The very definition means that we feel unsure. We have doubts, or we lack all of the information. We can usually figure out how to react when we feel other emotions, but uncertainty can make us feel very stuck.

So what does come up when you search “what is the hardest emotion?” Usually it is a list. Things like anger, anxiety, grief, loneliness, and shame. It is true that these are difficult feelings, but I would argue that at the root of all of these feelings is some level of uncertainty. In our anger we say “how dare you?” In our anxiety, we say “what if?” And often in our grief, loneliness, or shame we will say “what will the future hold for me? Or what am I going to do now?” All of those emotions connect to the feeling that we are lost and we don’t know how to prepare for what could be coming next. 

We don’t like uncertainty because we like feeling in control. We like feeling sure of our actions, relationships, and status. But the truth is, every day, we face countless moments of uncertainty. We make thousands of decisions every day, some conscious, some unconscious, big and small. But if you think about it, every decision we make, we make without having 100% of the information. I may think that the route that I drive every morning will be fine, but then again, I don’t know if there might be a slowdown somewhere along the way. I don’t know what is happening miles away, I don’t know what other people are thinking or doing, I don’t have all of the information. We do our best to make wise decisions, and often we may feel certain “enough” so we aren’t consciously aware of uncertainty. For example, I’m certain enough that I have enough gas in the car to get me to my destination. It is when we become aware of our uncertainty that the struggle begins. When we become aware that we don’t have all of the information, our imaginations start to kick in and we start to make assumptions that lead to fear, anger, or shame. We try to get more control, or read the future. When we realize that we are unsure, that we have doubts, and that we don’t have all the information, we tend to feel the opposite of peace. 

So how do we have peace even in the midst of uncertainty? Unfortunately, there is no magic answer to make it go away. If you are looking for ways to stop feeling uncertain, or for ways to avoid the feeling altogether, I cannot help you.  I can’t teach you to read the future or to read others’ minds. I can’t tell you how to be omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. But I can point you to the One who is. God made us with limits. God didn’t design us to know everything. He designed us to live in relationship with Him. To trust Him. To turn to Him for our provision, protection, fulfillment, joy and peace. 

In the Garden of Eden, the serpent presented Eve with a question that oozes uncertainty when he asked “Did God actually say ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?” (Gen. 3:1) We know what happened next- the conversation that began with a seed of uncertainty about what God really said ended with Adam and Eve both disobeying God and sin and death entering the whole world. Uncertainty has been a human feeling for a very long time. 

Is uncertainty by itself a sin? No. We aren’t made to know everything, so it isn’t wrong to recognize when we are unsure about things we don’t know. Adam and Eve didn’t sin because they were uncertain, they sinned because they responded to their uncertainty by turning to their own desires and self-sufficiency, instead of turning to God with faith and trust. Uncertainty by itself isn’t bad, but our way of responding to it can be. It is a problem when we try to take control or feel like we have to be the one to figure it out and save the day. Our response to uncertainty can also be an opportunity to glorify God. We can turn to Him and trust in His promises. We can live as His dearly loved children, trusting that His plan is good, and that He will always be with us. 

In both Psalm 13 and Psalm 56 David writes about how he feels uncertain about his situation and the future. He felt oppressed and afraid. In Psalm 13, he cries out “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” and later “How long shall my enemies be exalted over me?” Psalm 56 begins with “Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me; all day long an attacker oppresses me”. In both situations, he is faced with uncertainty and doubt. He doesn’t have control, and he doesn’t know what the outcome will be exactly. But in both situations, he turns to the Lord in faith. In Psalm 13 he says “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.” Psalm 56 he says with certainty “This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.” David was uncertain about his situation, but he was certain that he could trust in the Lord. David knew that it was okay to not know the outcome, because he knew that the Lord’s love was steadfast, and that the Lord would not abandon him.

I encourage you to recognize that uncertainty isn’t a problem, it requires a choice. A choice to either react in our own strength and be overwhelmed by the burdens of our own limitations, or to turn to God, to focus on His love, and to trust in His promises. Rest in His plan, that He is in control, and that He loves you.